4 AM drinking

Toronto Life’s list of places to drink until 4 AM.

On Sale / Off Sale

On Sale
Majority of these will be weekday, daytime second screenings with limited buzz and low probability of talent appearing – but could still be an awesome film.

Off Sale
They aren’t selling tickets anymore because they sold a crap ton initially.

How do you get a ticket for a movie that is off sale?

• You are the director of the movie.
• You are above the title talent that appears in the movie.
• You are a Reitman – preferably Ivan or Jason because they are awesome. Ivan gave us Ghostbusters and Jason and Jason gave us Thank you for Smoking.
• You were the music guy or wardrobe person and the movie was directed by Jason Reitman he will get you ten tickets because he is awesome.
• You get Doc Brown and a flux capacitor and go donate a crap ton of money to the festival four months before the start of public screenings.
• You stalk the box office, the website (it will have moments of functionality throughout the next two weeks) and keep going back hoping for a miracle of being there or online at the exact moment they put another block of ten on sale because the music guy told Jason that he doesn’t need the extra tickets for his entire family anymore.
• You go rush.

How do I “go rush”? Is Geddy Lee involved?
Going rush is a bit of a misnomer. It actually involves standing very still for a considerable amount of time. You must go to the theatre on the same day of the showing well in advance of the start time and wait, usually for an hour at least for something with anyone remotely recognizable that already has some kind of buzz or release date. If the movie has a title that someone you know who has never gone to the festival has heard of, then up that to two or three hours. The good news is if you are one of the first people in the front of the rush line you will probably get a in, either when the ticket holders are let in or from someone passing by with an extra ticket.
The other news is if you go rush you will either get a crappy seat or an awesome one. If you go rush with your 15 friends you will not get to sit together even if you all want to sit in the very front row.  However occasionally they open a block of reserved seats just as they let the rush line in, so you may get very lucky. But be careful – if you see a great seat still available for a packed A-list screening odds are the person next to it smells a bit and someone moved just before the rush line was let in. Give the area a sniff first. 86 minutes can seem a lot longer when you have stranger funk enveloping your personal space.

When in doubt, go with Jane

Of my 28 picks seven were selected by Jane Schoettle. Hoping that’s enough to make for a good festival.

Heading to The Light

The Lightbox

I’m very excited to have a new theatre in the mix this year. And yet as I type that I am confronted by a new emotion – fear. As a native of the 416 I have had time to familiarize myself with the entrances, exits and most important on a five-movie day, the bathrooms of all of the other theatres that are part of TIFF.

Cumberland, I won’t miss you, your low seats, your swampy bathrooms or your (probably) urine soaked alley line up. You are the cause of many an aggravated case of festival knee and drinking time lost to bathroom lines.

I’ve thought quite a bit (nay too much) about the best approach to The Light(box). If you are heading to The Light from the north, the subway to St. Andrew is a no-brainer. The Yonge-University line is usually air conditioned, has newer material on the seats than the Bloor line and I find it a nice ride assuming everything is running well. There is always a risk of a track level incident resulting in a delay of anywhere from five minutes to much longer,  but that is a gamble you have to take when going underground.

If you are heading to The Light from the east or west you have to go King or Queen streetcar, or the ankle express. As a frequent rider of the Queen streetcar I can say that in the summer it has the potential to battle the vomit comet for overall smell and atmosphere approximating a hot sweaty death. Don’t wear white pants. Check the seat (and the floor under the seat) before you sit down. You are as likely to see an open can of Pabst Blue Ribbon at the back of the car on your way to a 9:00 AM movie as you are on your way to a 9:00 PM movie. However I have appreciated the character of this all-night route more than once on my way back from an ill-advised extra round at one of the many bars open until 4:00 AM. There aren’t really many people in a position to judge your stumbles on the Queen car after midnight.

The King car is a bit more of a hit and miss. They don’t run the extra-long accordion/articulated style car on King like they do on Queen, and size does make a difference. For a morning film you will be jammed in with people going to and from work and appointments as this is the main route to the financial district. It will always be jammed if you are heading to a movie at 9:00 AM and between 5-7:00 PM. Many people walk part way. The slowest part of the ride is naturally right in front of the The Light. You have many restaurants, theatres, Metro Hall and the Roy Thompson Hall and Metro Square within spitting distance. It will get messy, and sometimes getting off at Spadina or Peter coming from the west, or Simcoe coming from the east and walking may be faster.

Either way if you have a tight schedule between The Light and any other theatre besides Scotiabank you may have to hustle and think creatively.

Still very excited at the prospect of a brand new set of bathrooms in the mix.

Unexpected Error

It appears the TIFF site is having performance issues with the shopping cart on the main site and the MaxWeb online ordering on September 2nd.

It might get weird

I will talk to Jane Schoettle this year and it won’t get weird. I will merely thank her for all her great programming work. And that I love that she wears comfy shoes for Q&A after dressing up for an intro. Ok, it might get weird.

Special Hell

I believe that in the next life line jumpers will be in the last box processed every year.

Why Lines and not Online?

Over the last few years I have heard the lament in every lineup at every point – the dropoff, the pickup, the rush-why is this not all online yet? Why must the love of film come with the theme park experience of waiting to ride the new roller coaster-sans funnel cake? As technology takes over every other aspect of our interactions with each other, and the management of our personal finances and expenditures, why is a trip to TIFF the waybackmachine of moviegoing?
I have heard, or overheard many theories on the hot sweaty sidewalks in Toronto – they don’t have the time or money to invest in the technology being the most popular. I think that one is a bit more difficult to swallow now since they managed to erect a building in the middle of downtown Toronto in a few short years – an online ticketing process should surely not be that onerous.

I believe that the excellent, creative and enthusiastic minds behind TIFF can accomplish anything they put their minds to – but I think they like the lines. They like us as a hot/sweaty/wet/shivering advertisement wrapped around street corners. They want us as a physical reminder to the city that the festival is coming-because it does seem as if every year there are those who forget. Anyone who has ever stood in line has had a stranger approach them and ask what the line is for – often to be met by incredulity and/or mockery after they hear the response that you are waiting to drop off a list of selections for a movie.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So this is a line for tickets?

TIFFGOER
This is where I drop off my selections

CURIOUS STRANGER
So can I get in this line if I want to see a movie?

TIFFGOER
Well you have to buy a package – they go on sale in June.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So you are picking up your ticket package?

TIFFGOER
No, I pay for the tickets, then two months later I pick the movies, then I drop off the selections.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So you aren’t getting your tickets today? When do you get the tickets? When can I buy tickets?

TIFFGOER
In a couple of days I can come back and pick up my selections, then make exchanges – then the next day you can come and buy tickets.

CURIOUS STRANGER
Why would you exchange your tickets after you had so long to figure out what you wanted?

TIFFGOER
I may not get everything I want – there is a draw to decide at random which box of selection envelopes is processed first. If I am at the end of the list I may not get my selections as some popular picks may be sold out.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So what happens when you pay for a movie, pick a movie, then they tell you that you can’t see the movie because it’s sold out?

TIFFGOER
I get a coupon to exchange for another movie at the same time – or I can make second choices for the same time. Either way I have to come back and line up again to pick up my tickets and coupons.

CURIOUS STRANGER
Will the line be this long?

TIFFGOER
Longer.

CURIOUS STRANGER
That’s what she said.

TIFFGOER
Excuse me?

CURIOUS STRANGER
Sorry – will the line move any faster?

TIFFGOER
Actually it will be much slower.

CURIOUS STRANGER
And why isn’t this whole thing on the internet now?

TIFFGOER
I don’t know.

CURIOUS STRANGER
What is up with that much shorter, faster moving lineup with the less sweaty and better-dressed people?

TIFFGOER
That is the donor line.

CURIOUS STRANGER
They gave organs to people so they don’t have to line up with the rest of you?

TIFFGOER
No, they give money – like at least a thousand bucks to the festival and they get to have their orders processed before everyone else and buy tickets before everyone else. The more money you give, the earlier your order is processed.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So if I give the festival lots of money I don’t have to wait in the super long lines.

TIFFGOER
Yes.

CURIOUS STRANGER
And if the festival were to get rid of the super long lines, by using the internet but kept the random draw and the processing order in place then there would only be a need for a way to do the exchanges? They could even let you print your tickets off the computer, couldn’t they?

TIFFGOER
In theory.

CURIOUS STRANGER
But if they got rid of the lines then how many people would give them a crap-ton of money to skip the line?

TIFFGOER
…

CURIOUS STRANGER
I think you’re getting screwed.

TIFFGOER
That’s what she said.