Why Lines and not Online?

Generously Supported

Over the last few years I have heard the lament in every lineup at every point – the dropoff, the pickup, the rush-why is this not all online yet? Why must the love of film come with the theme park experience of waiting to ride the new roller coaster-sans funnel cake? As technology takes over every other aspect of our interactions with each other, and the management of our personal finances and expenditures, why is a trip to TIFF the waybackmachine of moviegoing?
I have heard, or overheard many theories on the hot sweaty sidewalks in Toronto – they don’t have the time or money to invest in the technology being the most popular. I think that one is a bit more difficult to swallow now since they managed to erect a building in the middle of downtown Toronto in a few short years – an online ticketing process should surely not be that onerous.

I believe that the excellent, creative and enthusiastic minds behind TIFF can accomplish anything they put their minds to – but I think they like the lines. They like us as a hot/sweaty/wet/shivering advertisement wrapped around street corners. They want us as a physical reminder to the city that the festival is coming-because it does seem as if every year there are those who forget. Anyone who has ever stood in line has had a stranger approach them and ask what the line is for – often to be met by incredulity and/or mockery after they hear the response that you are waiting to drop off a list of selections for a movie.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So this is a line for tickets?

TIFFGOER
This is where I drop off my selections

CURIOUS STRANGER
So can I get in this line if I want to see a movie?

TIFFGOER
Well you have to buy a package – they go on sale in June.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So you are picking up your ticket package?

TIFFGOER
No, I pay for the tickets, then two months later I pick the movies, then I drop off the selections.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So you aren’t getting your tickets today? When do you get the tickets? When can I buy tickets?

TIFFGOER
In a couple of days I can come back and pick up my selections, then make exchanges – then the next day you can come and buy tickets.

CURIOUS STRANGER
Why would you exchange your tickets after you had so long to figure out what you wanted?

TIFFGOER
I may not get everything I want – there is a draw to decide at random which box of selection envelopes is processed first. If I am at the end of the list I may not get my selections as some popular picks may be sold out.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So what happens when you pay for a movie, pick a movie, then they tell you that you can’t see the movie because it’s sold out?

TIFFGOER
I get a coupon to exchange for another movie at the same time – or I can make second choices for the same time. Either way I have to come back and line up again to pick up my tickets and coupons.

CURIOUS STRANGER
Will the line be this long?

TIFFGOER
Longer.

CURIOUS STRANGER
That’s what she said.

TIFFGOER
Excuse me?

CURIOUS STRANGER
Sorry – will the line move any faster?

TIFFGOER
Actually it will be much slower.

CURIOUS STRANGER
And why isn’t this whole thing on the internet now?

TIFFGOER
I don’t know.

CURIOUS STRANGER
What is up with that much shorter, faster moving lineup with the less sweaty and better-dressed people?

TIFFGOER
That is the donor line.

CURIOUS STRANGER
They gave organs to people so they don’t have to line up with the rest of you?

TIFFGOER
No, they give money – like at least a thousand bucks to the festival and they get to have their orders processed before everyone else and buy tickets before everyone else. The more money you give, the earlier your order is processed.

CURIOUS STRANGER
So if I give the festival lots of money I don’t have to wait in the super long lines.

TIFFGOER
Yes.

CURIOUS STRANGER
And if the festival were to get rid of the super long lines, by using the internet but kept the random draw and the processing order in place then there would only be a need for a way to do the exchanges? They could even let you print your tickets off the computer, couldn’t they?

TIFFGOER
In theory.

CURIOUS STRANGER
But if they got rid of the lines then how many people would give them a crap-ton of money to skip the line?

TIFFGOER

CURIOUS STRANGER
I think you’re getting screwed.

TIFFGOER
That’s what she said.

No affiliation whatsoever

This is not an official TIFF site. If it was I would not have to wait in so many lineups with my festival knapsack full of water, snacks, sunscreen and other supplies.

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5 Comments

  1. neveragainTIFF
    September 2, 2010

    As a TIFF first-timer, I found the whole experience of picking up the booklet, ‘dropping’ off the selection and picking up the tickets (if you’re lucky) is extremely ridiculous. The article above summarizes exactly how many of us feel who stood in line for hours in the scorching heat. The greatest irony that I found was there were two line-ups, one for the advance order drop-off which stretch from King to Front St,and the other for purchase line which is completely empty. Go figure!

  2. Nikki
    September 3, 2010

    This is such bullshit. I grew up with the London Film Festival in the 90s that was a huge 3-week festival and back in 1998, I was able to buy tickets online, print them off a dispenser/ printer and attend my movie. I’ve boycotted TIFF since I arrived in Toronto in 2003 because of this bullshit hype and fake buzz they try to create. It’s immensely disrespectful to the audience. Except, this year, my favourite Indian actor Aamir Khan will probably be here and I’m trying to get tickets to his film Dhobi Ghat Premium Screening. &#^^@#$%$

  3. Sunny
    September 4, 2010

    NIKKI,

    WERE YOU LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET THEM?

  4. […] is not optimized for the web. While this adds weight to my previously posted conspiracy theory (see Why Lines and Not Online) I take no pleasure in having one more reason to deplore the poor performance of the TIFF site. We […]

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