Naked Cirque

Trying to decide if I should research strip clubs close to festival theatres for the site.

VISA – it’s where I want to be every September

July 6th is just around the corner so it’s time to break the VISA card out the block of ice in the freezer and buy your coupons. http://tiff.net/boxoffice has a list of the options and places you can go to buy your package. If this year is anything like previous years the website is likely to be unavailable for part or all of the first day, but unless you are buying one of the more popular packages you should be ok to wait and get your pass online when the site is available.

If you do not get a confirmation email or charge to your credit card be sure to follow up as soon as possible as there have been documented cases (ok once it happened to a friend of mine) where they bought online, but the order didn’t go through and by the time they realized they were not able to get the pass of their choice. Day and Day Lite are always popular, so buy early if that is what you are going for.

See http://tiff.net/boxoffice/tickets/youchoose for more details.

Festival Map

View Inatiff TIFF Map in a larger map

Sidewalk rage

I’m not talking about the line to do pick ups and exchanges either. I was there, on Labour Day at the crack of dawn with my friend – I was in a bad box, he on the other hand was completely screwed in box 6. After I got my picks I went to take a picture of the box office and the nice employee told me “no pictures”.

However I’m pretty sure he didn’t say, “don’t post the picture you took here on Tuesday when you were here to pick up your programme book and festival bag”, so here’s a shot of the box office.

Not taken on September 1

You can tell I didn’t take this picture on September 1 because you can’t smell the desperation and panic. It looks calm. Serene. Peaceful even.

Back to the sidewalk rage. The Toronto Life Square at Yonge and Dundas is right across the street from the Eaton Centre [I just had to google it to make sure it was still called the Eaton Centre, there isn't even an Eaton's there anymore. Weird]

The Eaton Centre is an official tourist attraction. It’s frakkin huge, it’s accessible by two subway stops, two streetcar routes, the PATH and a whole bunch of streets. It closes maybe one day a year. The newly pimped Yonge and Dundas square right across Yonge is … like the visual definition of cacophony. There are lights and fountains and screens and giant plant things and the corner of Yonge and Dundas even has a diagonal crossing – and not in a fun Harry Potter way. If you try to approach the Square from Yonge every time you have a movie at the AMC you will hurt someone. It may be a stranger, a lover, or yourself. But there is no way to traverse this intersection daily and remain sane.

Dundas and Victoria streets will be your best friends this festival. If you’re coming from the Scotiabank Theatre and you have time to walk, head north to Dundas, go east, and if you’re feeling ballsy, access the underground via the Best Buy and go underground all the way to my favourite Gelateria and you never have to see the chaos. Even if you don’t go underground the Dundas approach is much less chaotic. From the east, sweet, silent Victoria street, that has not one but two Tim Hortons [one at Queen and Vic, the other just north of Dundas at the base of the AMC building]. You avoid most of the shenanigans in the Square and you get a nice cup of coffee and a Timbit. For a Ryerson approach just cut south through the campus and head south on Victoria.

Seriously – just find another route. The terms fresh and hell come to mind at high noon on that corner.

A slow day

Stalking works

The office location is confirmed. I went to see Bottle Shock at the AMC today and the dead space in the corner by the Solo both on the third floor now shows signs of life.

On Friday night the corner section appeared to have a fresh coat of paint, but no visible TIFF markings:

Toronto Life 3rd Floor

Then today, on Sunday I saw this beat up old sign in front of the fire extinquisher:

TIFF Box Office

I know they already have hundreds of my hard earned dollars from my coupon purchase, but now it feels real.

Creamy goodness

You know, I wrote the title for this post, then had a moment where I felt bad for someone who may end up at this page after googling for ‘creamy goodness’.

Then I googled the phrase, and I didn’t see anything that porny at the top of the result set. Sometimes I underestimate the internet. I should probably try to learn a lesson from this.

So, gelato. I frakking love it. Part of me thinks this is because the creamy texture actually allows me to consume it in even greater quantities than regular ice cream. I have a new trainer at my gym because there is a new gelateria at Toronto Life Square, Vici Gelateria & Café.

It’s not cheap, but I don’t care, this stuff is yummy and I plan to have a different flavour every day of the festival. Or maybe just have the stracciatella 20 times.

Creamy goodness

My stracciatella

Yes I know the festival is only 10 days. I ate gelato twice the day I took these pictures. Stop judging me.

Circle gets the square

10 Dundas Street East

According to the interweb this year the programme book pick up and lottery drop off will be at the new box office at Toronto Life Square. The office has not been set up yet, but it may be on Level 3. That level has the main food court and lots of tables so you can start your selection process right away.

Level 3

Directory

There’s a gelateria downstairs as well, but I don’t want to include the food in the same post as the picture of that bathroom. Don’t forget to pack your sanitizer.

TL Square bathroom

Do you know what your sin is?

The deadly sins guide to TIFF

Lust
http://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/cas/

Gluttony
All you can eat at Katsu http://www.hrg88.com/katsu/index.php

or Little India http://www.littleindia.ca/

or Kama http://www.kamaindia.com/home.asp

and for my thirsty friends http://www.beerhunter.ca/

Greed
The new improved Visa Screening Room pass*

Sloth
Scheduling all your movies at the AMC so you never have to leave the movieplex

Wrath
Line rage when newbies or douchebags cut in due to ignorance or arrogance

Envy
Media passes…so preciousssss

Pride
Six months from now a friend will ask you about a movie that is coming out and you reply “I saw it at the festival…last year.”

* TIFF gods please take mercy on my sarcastic soul and put me in a good box for the lottery.

Cabs smell just as bad

For visitors to Toronto there is a new improved beta TTC site – so check out the new hotness at http://www.beta.ttc.ca/ to get maps, scheduling information and figure out if it’s cheaper to get tokens and a weekly pass or just get a Metropass for September.

If touching strangers on public transit isn’t your bag and you need to keep to a budget during your time here try this Taxi Fare calculator. http://toronto.taxiwiz.com

For instance if one were leaving the AMC at Dundas and Yonge and heading to …oh let’s say the Drake Hotel for a late cocktail this little mashup would let you know that the ride should cost you about 10 bucks – give or take depending on tips and traffic. You may realize that if you want to have enough money left for a drink at the Drake you better split that cab with 2 other people or get on the Queen streetcar.

Grab your coat and get your hat

Today’s lineup:

Beer Festival Lineup

The annual trip to the Toronto Festival of Beer is a great trial run for the city camping experience that is the Toronto International Film Festival. This year for the first time in the seven years I’ve been going the weather was terrible. While waiting in the lineup to get in Mother Nature was a bit of a c**ktease – a sprinkle of rain, then the suggestion of sunshine.

Once we got in Fort York Nature brought the pain, the wind, the rain and the mud.

Muddy Festival

Muddy Porta-potties

I’m getting too old to be scampering around in wet tank tops and hoodies. I’m going to need to get some kind of Mountain Equipment Coop gear this year to add to my festival pack.